It’s 3am, and your perfect little angel is sleeping in your arms, on her nursing pillow, with a bellyful of milk. With a lot of hesitation, I lower the baby into her bassinet- decked with Sleepyhead and other attractions to lure her to sleep. And then, “waaaah..”, she is up, extremely cross at your attempt to separate her from her cozy resting spot. This is what every night feels like lately!
You start thinking of waking up your loving and supportive spouse who would happily trade places with you for a while so you get some shut eye when a wave of guilt hits you. He has been in the office all day, exhausted while you are still on maternity leave. You think “Naah I will catch up during the day, he needs his sleep”.
After all, I have all the luck in the world with parents and inlaws visiting and a lovely lady who cooks for us. I think of my antenatal group, and I realize everyone pulls through on their own. Everyone seems to be finding their own way of managing the night. So my mental speech to myself “come on, buck up. You can do this”.
I remember the sleep workshop- sleep training the no cry way for softies like me who can’t handle the crying. But we tried one night- she was fed, and hubby rocked her to sleep and gently placed her in the bassinet. She smiled for a few seconds thinking it’s a game but when she realized daddy left the room, the little precious one wailed like a monster and refused to calm down. After 15 minutes, we settled her against us and said bye to sleep training! Icing on the cake- she turns around and gave us a victory laugh I started rocking her to sleep!
Then I remember all my conversations with mums and aunts in India-“what sleep training? You were in bed with us and fell asleep”. Setting aside all our fears of SIDS, we decide to go Indian for one nap- strip the bed of pillows and blankets and place her in the sleepyhead between us to avoid any flying elbows. Two minutes of kicking around and amusement seeing parents on both sides then the demand- how about rocking me to sleep now? Sigh British born babies don’t seem to get the Indian way!
Your mom friends and relatives always ask you about sleep. If you are honest, you get a lot of suggestions. Some advice is helpful, but sometimes you wonder if you are doing everything wrong- your confidence is shaken. So you mention no issues- after all until she got the cold, she was sleeping in the bassinet. You have selective amnesia about the first two months, the growth spurts- it’s all a phase anyway 🙂 You can’t have all this cuteness without some sleeplessness right?
All of these thoughts and I scan Instagram for the 100th time and look at the watch- it’s 6am. I gently place her down, and lie down realizing she will be hungry soon so I must have a power nap.
And the day dawns 🙂