- Nothing prepares you for motherhood, not the books, not the endless conversations with your friends; no amount of research prepares you for it.
- You end up with a lot more respect for your mother- as a child, you wonder why they are always so protective: “beta it’s cold, carry a sweater”, “call me if you are running late”, “you sound like you have a cold” and I get some of it even now :). I used to argue saying I have grown up now, so she doesn’t have to worry. But I got it during my first week as a mom, little one got jaundice and was in the hospital and I remember calling my mom and mother inlaw and saying I get it now- the constant worry, the panic when your child is unwell.
- Bollywood romanticized motherhood for me and reality was different. In the movies, you pick up the baby and you are instantly a mom. I found the first three months was a steep learning curve and a lot of second guessing- does she know I am her mother?, if the baby cries for a while and you can’t make her stop, you wonder if you are a good mom? It’s only after a few months that I felt confident and ready!
- I learnt to give up my ideal version of motherhood and go with the flow. For example, I read about nipple confusion in the first month and decided no bottles or pacifier. But when we were in hospital with jaundice, all my plans went out of the window: my doctor rightfully told me “baby being fed is important, how she is fed isn’t”. Sometimes we idealize what the experience should be and don’t realize each baby is different. I now focus on what works for us and our circumstances.
- A smile or cuddle makes a dull day better, back pain from sleeping on a chair go away, and fills you with so much joy you wonder why you didn’t have a baby sooner :). You don’t care if you are off key or shrill, because your singing gets the giggles! I always knew it’s an all consuming experience, but I had no idea how much it would change me!
Share your realizations from your first Mother’s Day in the comments below!