5 realizations on my First Mother’s Day as a mom 


It’s Mother’s Day in U.K., and my first one as a mom. It’s only fair I sat down and penned my realizations from the journey so far:

  • Nothing prepares you for motherhood, not the books, not the endless conversations with your friends; no amount of research prepares you for it.
  • You end up with a lot more respect for your mother- as a child, you wonder why they are always so protective: “beta it’s cold, carry a sweater”, “call me if you are running late”, “you sound like you have a cold” and I get some of it even now :). I used to argue saying I have grown up now, so she doesn’t have to worry. But I got it during my first week as a mom, little one got jaundice and was in the hospital and I remember calling my mom and mother inlaw and saying I get it now- the constant worry, the panic when your child is unwell. 
  • Bollywood romanticized motherhood for me and reality was different. In the movies, you pick up the baby and you are instantly a mom. I found the first three months was a steep learning curve and a lot of second guessing- does she know I am her mother?, if the baby cries for a while and you can’t make her stop, you wonder if you are a good mom? It’s only after a few months that I felt confident and ready!
  • I learnt to give up my ideal version of motherhood and go with the flow. For example, I read about nipple confusion in the first month and decided no bottles or pacifier. But when we were in hospital with jaundice, all my plans went out of the window: my doctor rightfully told me “baby being fed is important, how she is fed isn’t”. Sometimes we idealize what the experience should be and don’t realize each baby is different. I now focus on what works for us and our circumstances.
  • A smile or cuddle makes a dull day better, back pain from sleeping on a chair go away, and fills you with so much joy you wonder why you didn’t have a baby sooner :). You don’t care if you are off key or shrill, because your singing gets the giggles! I always knew it’s an all consuming experience, but I had no idea how much it would change me!

Share your realizations from your first Mother’s Day in the comments below! 

My first 6 months- guest blog by my daughter

I decided to takeover mom’s blog for one day and describe my first 6 months on earth. 

I was born on July 26 at 9.41am in a bright and noisy hospital room. It has been an enormous journey to learn how to live and adjust to my surroundings, and here are the highlights:

  • The two people everywhere in my life are my mom and dad- the first people I saw and cuddled. First few weeks, they seemed oddly obsessed with a few details of my life: feeding, diapers, and sleep- discussing it at length, so weird right? Everything daddy says is funny so I save my best giggles for him. Mummy gives the best cuddles and loves to sing to me- I think her voice is improving! 
  • I have two sets of grandparents who have spent a lot of time giving me hugs and kisses. I love playing with them but sometimes they also try to put me to sleep.
  • I really don’t like sleeping- everything around me is so bright and colorful, I don’t want to miss anything. 
  • My favorite thing to do is stare at all the lights- sunlight, bulbs, nightlight. Mummy buys all the toys and puts me on the mat but all I want to do is stare at the ceiling light.
  • My favorite place in the house is my changing table- it has the star nightlight, and seeing it makes me so happy that I kick and play.
  • I love swimming and being in the water- mummy has been taking me since I was 4 months old and it’s safe to say I will be a pro soon.
  • Mummy and I have outings everyday, which I love. Children’s center, sound and light classes, swimming, Pilates, and meeting my baby friends. 
  • While I love to go out, the one thing I hate is getting ready. Whenever mummy starts putting me in a jacket, I get uncomfortable, sometimes I even cry. 
  • I play little tricks on mummy and daddy- when they tell their friends I don’t sleep, that day I sleep without any effort- it’s fun! 🙂
  • I am friendly, I like staring at other babies and making friends. 
  • I smile a lot, although most of my smiles are in the comfort of my home.
  • I have just started talking and my favorite words are “ta ta” and “va va”.
  • Mummy is introducing new food to me and although I was skeptical at first, they seem tasty. My favorites so far are banana and butternut squash.
  • I love to sit- I haven’t quiet figured out how to get from my back to sitting but once mummy or daddy make me sit, I love it! 
  • Tummy time used to be a pain but now I can escape it by rolling onto my back.
  • I love rhymes- my favorite ones are 5 little ducks, you are my sunshine,  and the good morning song.

I can’t wait to see what’s next- in the meanwhile, comment if you like my post :).. it will encourage me to post an update again! 

The 3am musings 

It’s 3am, and your perfect little angel is sleeping in your arms, on her nursing pillow, with a bellyful of milk. With a lot of hesitation, I lower the baby into her bassinet- decked with Sleepyhead and other attractions to lure her to sleep. And then, “waaaah..”, she is up, extremely cross at your attempt to separate her from her cozy resting spot. This is what every night feels like lately!

You start thinking of waking up your loving and supportive spouse who would happily trade places with you for a while so you get some shut eye when a wave of guilt hits you. He has been in the office all day, exhausted while you are still on maternity leave. You think “Naah I will catch up during the day, he needs his sleep”. 

After all, I have all the luck in the world with parents and inlaws visiting and a lovely lady who cooks for us. I think of my antenatal group, and I realize everyone pulls through on their own. Everyone seems to be finding their own way of managing the night. So my mental speech to myself “come on, buck up. You can do this”. 

I remember the sleep workshop- sleep training the no cry way for softies like me who can’t handle the crying. But we tried one night- she was fed, and hubby rocked her to sleep and gently placed her in the bassinet. She smiled for a few seconds thinking it’s a game but when she realized daddy left the room, the little precious one wailed like a monster and refused to calm down. After 15 minutes, we settled her against us and said bye to sleep training! Icing on the cake- she turns around and gave us a victory laugh I started rocking her to sleep!

Then I remember all my conversations with mums and aunts in India-“what sleep training? You were in bed with us and fell asleep”. Setting aside all our fears of SIDS, we decide to go Indian for one nap- strip the bed of pillows and blankets and place her in the sleepyhead between us to avoid any flying elbows. Two minutes of kicking around and amusement seeing parents on both sides then the demand- how about rocking me to sleep now? Sigh British born babies don’t seem to get the Indian way!

Your mom friends and relatives always ask you about sleep. If you are honest, you get a lot of suggestions. Some advice is helpful, but sometimes you wonder if you are doing everything wrong- your confidence is shaken. So you mention no issues- after all until she got the cold, she was sleeping in the bassinet. You have selective amnesia about the first two months, the growth spurts- it’s all a phase anyway 🙂 You can’t have all this cuteness without some sleeplessness right? 

All of these thoughts and I scan Instagram for the 100th time and look at the watch- it’s 6am. I gently place her down, and lie down realizing she will be hungry soon so I must have a power nap.

And the day dawns 🙂