One month as an editor!

After a brief hiatus, I am back! And what a ride the last few months have been! Before I get to my post, lets catch up on the last few months. After my bubba turned one, I decided not to return to work and was searching for a new role which gave me more flexibility when I found out I was pregnant again. I decided to put my job search on pause and focus on having the baby before heading back, and then life threw me a curve ball and I miscarried. I took a while to process that, and I realised I don’t want to go back to my finance world. I wanted to do more but I wasn’t sure how. I was nervous about how I could do it all, and just then I chanced upon a post wrote by the editor of Clapham Mums who wanted someone to takeover her site as editor. I wrote to her on a whim- I had no real plan. The decision wasn’t easy- I was a world away and I had no idea what I am signing up for but something inside me felt it was ok. For someone who gets nervous, this decision was a completely calm one for me; I didn’t try to get anyone’s input and followed my gut.

Cut to now, after a month on the job, it’s been an amazing journey. The universe works in mysterious ways! The role has all the aspects I love- community, writing, working with people with the challenge of being your own boss. I want to share some learnings for me:

  • I miss structure- being my own boss meant no bosses, targets, or how to guides. I had some help from the Great British mums, who I nagged incessantly. I am learning to appreciate that sometimes things are messy and without a blueprint, and that’s fine.
  • Generating business takes hustle- I heard the term used a lot in RHOBH by Lisa Rinna for all the Bravo fans out there, didn’t get it then but I do now. It takes a lot of effort to generate every ยฃ1 of revenue- in my case it takes calls, emails, chasing for responses, writing, social media.
  • I got to meet amazing women- the world of mumtrepreneurs is inspiring, there are so many women running innovative businesses. Some as a primary career, others as a secondary one after family and they have the passion and drive to run their own business. There is a supportive community of these mumtrepreneurs- I found they didn’t haggle with you because they recognise you are self employed just like them (I was surprised at how much harder it was with bigger companies given their bureaucracy).
  • There are so many pieces to the business, and between childcare constraints, life admin, every free minute goes to work. It’s great but i miss my lie on the couch after a long day and watch reality TV time.
  • I missed the support of a large company, so I could leverage the knowledge and expertise of my colleagues, or call my IT help desk to give me how to help, or not have to pay for stationery and postage- all things I never thought about while working in a big company, but suddenly seem important now! ๐Ÿ™‚

So there you have my first month realisations about being self employed- I am sure there will be more. What were your realisations?

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I was a solo parent for a week, and we survived!

This week was a first: my husband was across the pond and I had a daddy obsessed toddler to deal with. My first instinct was to call my parents in India for a trip but I decided to wear my big girl pants and bravely go where I have not gone before: be a solo parent for a week! I wanted to share my tips and realizations as this experiment draws to a successful end.

To prepare for this daunting undertaking, I started preparing by reading blogs to find some hacks. While I am no expert, one tip that were hugely helpful was to prepare in advance- I stocked up on groceries, prepared a few meals for the week, and sorted out laundry. Our toddler is a terrible sleeper so I knew I will be tired, so anything that can simplify the week.

The other tip I loved was to wake up a bit earlier so I could take a shower and have my coffee before her day starts. Getting a good start helped me tackle the day.

I planned a few play dates and it was a wonderful distraction for both of us. We also did a grocery run everyday around the time dad comes home, just to get her mind off it. And the tv nanny time gave me a few minutes so I could eat dinner, do the dishes, and clean up the toy war zone!

A realization that helped tackle the tough days was to accept that things won’t go smoothly and that’s ok. On the second day, my toddler woke up at midnight and suddenly missed daddy, so we had a night of screaming from 12-3am. We were both tired the next day, and then the Chromecast refused to cast nursery rhymes making it feel like a never ending day. Accepting that such tough days will happen helped me be calm and patient.

I also planned a few treats for me, like a threading appointment or a quiet breakfast after the nursery drop off. That’s my takeaway from my osteopath: you need to slow down and breathe to let your body catch up!

It was still challenging week: my toddler was unsettled and looking for daddy. She talked about him all day, and seeing him on FaceTime wasn’t enough. She also got more clingy with me- followed me everywhere and would break into tears every time I stepped away for a second. It was stressful especially when you are doing small tasks like draw up her bath, or heat dinner. I felt terrible telling her off because I know she is just confused, but the crying does get exhausting.

I learnt a lot over the week- the first big one was I realized how incredibly amazing solo parents are- it’s not an easy job, and they deserve so much credit. Even when you are tired and cranky, you don’t have anyone to pick up the slack. Hats off to you!

I have a new found appreciation for my husband- I realized my husband does more than I give him credit for. He does the bath and bed time routine, but I realized most mornings he gets our daughter ready which gives me a bit of quiet to shower and have breakfast.

As I ready for my husband’s return tomorrow, I feel a mix of relief and sense of achievement- I didn’t think I could, but I did it! This week was an eye opener for me and a real confidence booster. At the end of each day, we went to bed with a feeling of accomplishment and for a few minutes, like a supermom. I am excited to get the family unit back together, to get some me time, and a tall glass of wine ๐Ÿ™‚ !

Grieving a broken dream

Writing is cathartic; sometimes when there a million emotions bubbling, writing them down is a way to express it and sometimes deal with it.

So this is my dam bursting, with the emotions rushing to the surface. The last week has been the hardest week of my life. I was 11 weeks pregnant with my second child, and it was exactly what we hoped and planned for- we wanted my daughter to have a sibling close in age, both of us had that. I wanted to change jobs after the second child, so I didn’t have to start/ stop for maternity leave. Because online websites showed second pregnancies have a 4% chance of miscarriage and chances of miscarriage after 10 weeks are close to 1%, I told friends and family. We couldn’t stop ourselves from planning ahead as we reached the 8 weeks threshold. We went to New York to spend a week with my husband’s family and mostly to celebrate what a great year it has been. And then it happened, what started as a bit of spotting ended with a miscarriage.

We didn’t see it coming, and I feel like a deer in headlights. I can’t imagine how hard it is in people who haven’t shared their pregnancy and so can’t share their loss- the loneliness must be harder than the grief. And to to go about pretending like nothing happened must be exhausting. As I try to find a way to make sense of it, I often hear people say “at least you have your daughter”. Yes I am so grateful for my daughter and I have so much compassion for others who don’t and have to face this heartache. But I still yearn for that sibling for my daughter, that missing piece in my family picture. In the last few weeks, we imagined our weekends as a family of 4 with swimming and football games and lunches and naps. My daughter is the only reason I am sane, but it doesn’t stop me from grieving for the other child who I wanted and prayed for. I also grieve for my daughter, who would have been amazing big sister: she was obsessed with my 6 month old nephew and enjoyed touching his toes and playing with him.

What scares me is the future- now when we do try and I do get pregnant, I will be anxious and scared to take a flight, to lift, to do anything that could potentially hurt the baby. There is a foolish bravado when you haven’t fallen, and when you do fall on the cold pavement, how can you continue without letting it haunt you?

My one year old’s birthday party

I am no professional party planner, but I do love planning events. We were celebrating my daughter’s first birthday in India, and decided to host a party in my hometown Mumbai, so all our friends and family can meet her. It was the perfect opportunity for me to unleash my inner party planner (in my head that’s someone over the top like Kevin Lee on real housewives)! I am really proud of how it turned out and wanted to share my thoughts and some pictures from the party. 

I spent hours pouring through Pinterest and I picked a few themes that I felt my daughter loved and made it my own. I didn’t want to do a princess one yet and I wanted it to be personal, not a generic baby girl ones One of her favorite rhymes was wheels on the bus so we decided that would be the perfect theme. Ananya loves colors and lights so we put lots of streamers and balloons- we were so lucky to have our family pitch in to get the space ready in half hour.

Instead of buying generic centerpieces which I can’t reuse, I decided to make my own. We got regular jars from Amazon and I got labels printed that were personalized- with a bus on one side and that says ananya’s first birthday. I got some confetti to make it look festive and filled the jars with a yellow rose, red Gerbera daisy, white rajnigandha and some baby’s breath fillers. I was really pleased with how colorful and festive it looked! And the best part is some of our family took it back because they loved it ๐Ÿ™‚

The first little section I had was about how Ananya grew up- her picture at each month. Most of our friends and family were seeing her for the first time so they loved the pictures. We also had a slideshow that ran with more pictures. 

Here is a close up of the board you saw in the earlier picture: it is all the little details and milestones that round up her first year and give a hint of her personality.

Another section was her time capsule- we had the box and the stuff we wanted to put in it- her ultrasound, foot print, handprint, picture with Santa, elf name. 

But we also added a guest book like set up where we asked guests to answer three questions, predictions really, about her life when she is 18. This was a fun thing I saw on not in the high street website as a wedding guest book idea. I wrote to the wonderful Julia Eastwood and she worked with me to execute on my vision for this. It turned out fantastic! Should be fun to see who is clairvoyant! 

We set up a baby section with a ball pit, toys, and bubble machines. It was fun to watch kids from differing age groups interact and enjoy.

And finally the piece de resistance: the cake! I worked with the very talented team of Deliciae by Bunty Mahajan. They worked with my wheels on the bus concept and came up with this amazing design. I personalized it by adding a bus stop that says Chelsea and Westminster hospital, where she was born and adding a little cartoon family. The cake looked amazing and was delicious (Belgian chocolate flavor).

I hope you enjoyed the sneak peek into the party; I wish there were more pictures to share of the decorations. I had fun planning and if you enjoyed reading this, drop a comment below! 

(PS no ads here, true compliments for real orders :))

I am one today- guest blog by my daughter

I wrote when I was at the half way point, and now I that I have completed one full year of being a little person, I figured I must write again. It’s been a whirlwind, I have been so busy. Here are some highlights of my extremely busy year:

  • Mamma and appa are the center of my world- I see them everywhere and thank god for that. They wear many hats- personal chefs, transporters, entertainers, and the best pillow in the world. 
  • I see both sets of grandparents all the time- they are my partners in crime, always playing with me, taking me for walks, and singing. 
  • I have my own gang of friends- sure I can’t actually recognize them but we play and pull hair, grab each other’s toys- you know the fun stuff! 
  • Mamma and appa took me around all the time, we met so many friends and family. My favorite place is india- I love the ceiling fan and bright colors, neon signs on roads, the bikes, trucks, and all the excitement while driving around.
  • I am recently very mobile- I crawl everywhere and fast and I can walk holding furniture. Life is just so much fun this way! I can now reach phones, remotes, and coffee cups, I can run up the stairs before mamma catches me. Oh the joy! 
  • Food is more adventurous- I have pasta, pulao, sambar but my favorite dish is yogurt. Mamma says my tambram genes are strong, not sure what that means! 
  • I enjoy my snack time too- bread and butter are my new favorite along with apple and pear Porridge (fruit kesari). 
  • I still love swimming and my newly discovered favorite place is the playground. I love the swing, the feeling when the wind hits my face ๐Ÿ™‚ 
  • I still don’t like to sleep- such a waste of time. And when I do sleep, I would love to sleep on mamma or appa, who needs crib or their bed, when you have the best pillow ๐Ÿ™‚
  • I want to be a part of conversations so I am talking all day long! Not sure if anyone understands, but sometimes they repeat what I say so it does look like they do! 

As I round up the month of celebrations, I am glad for everything around me. Thanks for reading! 

When you realize you are no longer a new mom..


Being a new mom is almost like a new title- it becomes your introduction till one day it dawns on you that you can’t say I am new mom anymore. 

Some milestones that I hit me (in good humor):

  1. When you stop counting baby’s age in weeks and move to months
  2. When you forget how many weeks it is because you have stopped checking your apps
  3. When you start winging it- from measuring bath temperature with thermometer to elbow, filling a recipe to getting creative
  4. When your baby moves dress sizes: newborn to 3-6, 6-9… each bucket move is a new wave of realization
  5. When baby food and your food start looking and tasting more alike
  6. When your baby doesn’t want to cuddle and wiggles around because the world is far too interesting
  7. When your cozy home suddenly feels like a death trap and you have nightmares about baby proofing
  8. When your changing bag moves from sterilized bottles and feeding cover to rice cakes, bibs, and more
  9. When there is no good excuse for cake (no sleep sugar fix, feeding carb loading) ๐Ÿ™‚
  10. When people start asking you about the next one

My first 6 months- guest blog by my daughter

I decided to takeover mom’s blog for one day and describe my first 6 months on earth. 

I was born on July 26 at 9.41am in a bright and noisy hospital room. It has been an enormous journey to learn how to live and adjust to my surroundings, and here are the highlights:

  • The two people everywhere in my life are my mom and dad- the first people I saw and cuddled. First few weeks, they seemed oddly obsessed with a few details of my life: feeding, diapers, and sleep- discussing it at length, so weird right? Everything daddy says is funny so I save my best giggles for him. Mummy gives the best cuddles and loves to sing to me- I think her voice is improving! 
  • I have two sets of grandparents who have spent a lot of time giving me hugs and kisses. I love playing with them but sometimes they also try to put me to sleep.
  • I really don’t like sleeping- everything around me is so bright and colorful, I don’t want to miss anything. 
  • My favorite thing to do is stare at all the lights- sunlight, bulbs, nightlight. Mummy buys all the toys and puts me on the mat but all I want to do is stare at the ceiling light.
  • My favorite place in the house is my changing table- it has the star nightlight, and seeing it makes me so happy that I kick and play.
  • I love swimming and being in the water- mummy has been taking me since I was 4 months old and it’s safe to say I will be a pro soon.
  • Mummy and I have outings everyday, which I love. Children’s center, sound and light classes, swimming, Pilates, and meeting my baby friends. 
  • While I love to go out, the one thing I hate is getting ready. Whenever mummy starts putting me in a jacket, I get uncomfortable, sometimes I even cry. 
  • I play little tricks on mummy and daddy- when they tell their friends I don’t sleep, that day I sleep without any effort- it’s fun! ๐Ÿ™‚
  • I am friendly, I like staring at other babies and making friends. 
  • I smile a lot, although most of my smiles are in the comfort of my home.
  • I have just started talking and my favorite words are “ta ta” and “va va”.
  • Mummy is introducing new food to me and although I was skeptical at first, they seem tasty. My favorites so far are banana and butternut squash.
  • I love to sit- I haven’t quiet figured out how to get from my back to sitting but once mummy or daddy make me sit, I love it! 
  • Tummy time used to be a pain but now I can escape it by rolling onto my back.
  • I love rhymes- my favorite ones are 5 little ducks, you are my sunshine,  and the good morning song.

I can’t wait to see what’s next- in the meanwhile, comment if you like my post :).. it will encourage me to post an update again! 

The 3am musingsย 

It’s 3am, and your perfect little angel is sleeping in your arms, on her nursing pillow, with a bellyful of milk. With a lot of hesitation, I lower the baby into her bassinet- decked with Sleepyhead and other attractions to lure her to sleep. And then, “waaaah..”, she is up, extremely cross at your attempt to separate her from her cozy resting spot. This is what every night feels like lately!

You start thinking of waking up your loving and supportive spouse who would happily trade places with you for a while so you get some shut eye when a wave of guilt hits you. He has been in the office all day, exhausted while you are still on maternity leave. You think “Naah I will catch up during the day, he needs his sleep”. 

After all, I have all the luck in the world with parents and inlaws visiting and a lovely lady who cooks for us. I think of my antenatal group, and I realize everyone pulls through on their own. Everyone seems to be finding their own way of managing the night. So my mental speech to myself “come on, buck up. You can do this”. 

I remember the sleep workshop- sleep training the no cry way for softies like me who can’t handle the crying. But we tried one night- she was fed, and hubby rocked her to sleep and gently placed her in the bassinet. She smiled for a few seconds thinking it’s a game but when she realized daddy left the room, the little precious one wailed like a monster and refused to calm down. After 15 minutes, we settled her against us and said bye to sleep training! Icing on the cake- she turns around and gave us a victory laugh I started rocking her to sleep!

Then I remember all my conversations with mums and aunts in India-“what sleep training? You were in bed with us and fell asleep”. Setting aside all our fears of SIDS, we decide to go Indian for one nap- strip the bed of pillows and blankets and place her in the sleepyhead between us to avoid any flying elbows. Two minutes of kicking around and amusement seeing parents on both sides then the demand- how about rocking me to sleep now? Sigh British born babies don’t seem to get the Indian way!

Your mom friends and relatives always ask you about sleep. If you are honest, you get a lot of suggestions. Some advice is helpful, but sometimes you wonder if you are doing everything wrong- your confidence is shaken. So you mention no issues- after all until she got the cold, she was sleeping in the bassinet. You have selective amnesia about the first two months, the growth spurts- it’s all a phase anyway ๐Ÿ™‚ You can’t have all this cuteness without some sleeplessness right? 

All of these thoughts and I scan Instagram for the 100th time and look at the watch- it’s 6am. I gently place her down, and lie down realizing she will be hungry soon so I must have a power nap.

And the day dawns ๐Ÿ™‚ 

How my life changes as a mom..


Motherhood is an intense experience- it is a life altering journey and you come out on the other side a new person! There are lots of blogs out there sharing best practices, what to do, etc. This isn’t one of them! I don’t claim to be an expert, I think every baby is different and every mother child relationship is unique so no pearls of wisdom from me.

I am changing gears and attempting humor! As a new mom, here are 5 changes I observed:

  • Meal time marathons: somehow my little one knows mom is ready to eat and has to be changed/ fed/ put to sleep. So my time to eat has been quartered (if that is even a word!). I am still slow but it feels like I am running a marathon to finish! 
  • Sleep time anytime: there was a time when I needed a solid 30 minute wind down time and a cozy blanket and bed to get me to sleep. Now a nursing chair where my neck is slumped to one side and arm numb is just fine! I can’t claim no wind down time but I am hoping it goes away- otherwise I finish nursing, settling the little one down and I am running a countdown in my head “in two hours I have to be up, so I better sleep now… make that one hour 55 minutes so I can run to the loo…” and so on until it’s time to wake up! 
  • Date night joy: we are blessed with doting parents so we get the night off every few weeks. Sounds romantic but mostly we get to the restaurant, and order everything at once just in case we have to rush home, spend the whole meal discussing our little miracle, and when I get home I have missed her and can’t believe we left her for so long! 
  • Chats with your friends are different: with your mom friends, no topic is off limits- “does your baby’s poop smell?” Or “how long does she feed?”- no real embarrassment or privacy. Having said that, the antenatal group is your most viewed chat group and your lifeline at 4am. 
  • How you shop changes:My me time activities are shopping and a little mani pedi every now and then.It’s all about efficiency, online shopping or pick up in store and try at home. Not sure if it is working out as efficiently as I hoped, lots of returns. 

How did your life change as a mom? Share your experience in the comments below.