Realizations from a 1000 days of being a Mrs!

I am a sucker for the idea of milestones-anniversaries, monthsary—I love celebrating the moments that made my life what it is! Today is one of those milestones- 1000 days of being a Mrs! It sounds a lot longer than it is, I can’t even believe it- we are opposites- he is more outdoors but me not so much, I talk and he usually listens! Anyone who tells you marriage is a piece of cake is lying- it takes a lot of work, but is it worth it? TOTALLY!

I figured I should list some of the things I found out about marriage over the last 1000 days!!

  • There is no such thing as a honeymoon phase– Before I got married, I heard so much about how exciting the honeymoon phase is! All the hype made my expectations sky high but the one thing I figured out was the first year is definitely NOT a piece of cake! My husband and I didn’t live together so it took us a while to get used to living together. It takes a lot of change and adjustment, but eventually we got to a steady state. The steady state to me feels more like a honeymoon phase of mind!
  • It isn’t all about romance!– Years of reading Mills and Boon sets up romance expectations sky high! But 1000 days of marriage has made me realize that the story book romance don’t exist in the real world and what really matters to me is the daily sweet nothings like a morning text or flowers every once in a while! In our daily routines,we both try to carve times for romance-date nights and anniversaries to make the usual week a little more special!
  • Enjoy hobbies you never thought you would like!– I have never been an outdoor person, while my hubby loves hiking, tennis and anything outdoors. Almost reluctantly, I tried a few of the hobbies and to my surprise, I didn’t hate it. Hiking and long walks around the city are now hobbies we both enjoy during our time together! And of course, keep your own hobbies- a lot of people I know get lost in the marriage and lose their friends and hobbies- at some point you will come up for air, and miss your old life! So keep chunks of it so you are excited to spend time together too!
  • Getaway for a perfect connection!– Sitting together but spending time on laptop and TV doesn’t count as spending time together. One thing that really helps us connect is to travel. Whether we explore an exotic city together or spend time walking around the country side, it gives us the perfect chance to get away from all the devices and communicate.
  • No fight that last too longer than a night– Like all married couples, we have had our share of tiffs and fights but the one thing I have learnt is no fight is too big. The rules are simple- you cannot hold a grudge overnight. I would love to claim I am the one who makes up all the time, but I think the truth is he is much better at making up! But then again, it might be because guys are almost always wrong! 😉 And while it sounds hard, don’t keep score- honestly sometimes I still do, but it takes a lot out of me to make sure I don’t do it consciously!
  • Partner my struggles– Nothing brings a couple closer than a ride in the rocky seas- I have had my share of struggles from moving to a foreign country, having no family or friends, not having a job and starting my career over by studying again. These experiences were difficult no doubt, but the one thing I am grateful for is it has helped me figure out whom I can lean on- my husband, the eternal optimist and one of the most objective people I know. I feel that even though it was a difficult time, it was the perfect opportunity for us to trust each other and lean towards each other for support.

Here is to the next 1000!! Share your tips and thoughts too!

Top Ten Favorite Date Ideas (via Mrs. Dexter)

Cute post on date ideas… Feel free to add to the list!

Top Ten Favorite Date Ideas My least favorite question on date night is this: So, what do you want to do tonight? My answer? I definitely do not want to waste time figuring out what to do. Here are some of our favorite go-to ideas for when we don’t know what to do. 1.  Homemade hot drinks. For five months before Dexter and I “started dating,” we went out on “non-dates” at coffee shops. We drank mochas and talked and talked and talked. Actually, Dexter talked and talked. I t … Read More

via Mrs. Dexter

5 things I have learnt about romance!

– The adage that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” is totally true! There’s tons of power in home cooked meal.

– Candles might be cliqued and girlish, but a candle lit meal makes an evening memorable!

– Men enjoy bubble baths and massages too! After a hard day of work, it can be just the trick to set the mood…

– Small things like making a fresh pot of coffee and picking up laundry for your spouse goes a long way in making someone’s day…

– Texting keeps the romance alive. It breaks the stress of a work day, and you start looking forward to going home to your other half!

Love Story– Do opposites attract?

I always read about compatibility, the importance of being in the same page. Instead of writing about it as a collection of ideas, I thought of writing it as a story. Leave your thoughts, or impressions about it.

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Boy meets girl, the girl’s heart beats a bit faster when the phone rings, she longs to hear from him. They meet, there is chemistry, but are they similar?

Boy loves tennis, running, anything outdoor; girl loves reading, painting, anything indoors.  Boy loves old songs, girl loves new songs.  Boy loves documentaries, girl loves comedies.  Boy is thinks a lot, he is planned and organised, girl is very “que sera sera”. Boy is logical, girl is emotional.  Boy is ambitious, almost the next future CEO, girl isn’t that ambitious, just wants enough to lead a good life, and have a full life.  Boy wants to achieve, girl just wants to learn new things even if she doesn’t succeed.  Boy could win best son award, everyone’s favorite; girl is happy just having people to talk to, no real pressure for anything.

Boy asks girl if she will marry him. Girl loves boy, she says yes, without thinking about how the rest of their life would turn out. Do opposites really attract? Is the attraction sustainable?

The modern day Rapunzel

I was reading the Rapunzel Story to my niece, and I thought about how it would be viewed today. The story reminds me of love, pure and simple, without doubts, and of happy endings.  Rapunzel, who was locked away in a tower by an evil witch. The dashing prince hears her beautiful voice, and is drawn to her. He climbs to see her, and plans their escape together. After a few trials and tribulations, they lived happily ever after.

If it were to happen today, Rapunzel would sit in the tower, reading Cosmopolitans and Mills & Boons novels.  When the prince climbs over the tower, she might not be impressed with him if he has an obsolete cell phone, if he isn’t tall, dark and handsome, if he didn’t use enough cologne or deodorant.  She might consider breaking up with him if he didn’t reply to her texts, or didn’t come to see her with chocolates. Rapunzel might worry about her compatibility with the prince, or whether they have a future and decide to stay in tower over running away with him.

In the new age of information overload, romance and love has become so complicated, because everything you can do to express your love has been done before and written about.  Nothing seems as new and exciting as just breaking free and running away into the wild, without overanalyzing the relationship.  The number of columns and articles dedicated to the pursuit of the perfect gift or gesture are endless, so all your partner has to do is read one he is will to try. But in such cases, you have seen it all and are not impressed.  There are self-help books on how to repair any relationship, and all friends become relationship experts who try to find out the problems and solutions in your relationships.

The other pitfall is there is always a precedence of an ideal romance, which you start envisioning as your own. In such a situation, no matter what your partner does for you, it always falls short of your expectations.  A lot of books and articles talk about the ONE, the idea that there is this perfect person for you, and who is compatible, suitable, shares the same hopes and dreams as you. In pursuit of the ONE, you never give any relationship a chance, you run at the sight of anything complicated.  Relationships then end up beginning with expiration dates!

So if Rapunzel was to meet Prince Charming would she take off?? I think not!